All I have ever wanted is to be great. No, not “great” in a conceited, go-down-in-history way or “great” in an egotistical sense, but just by being a great me. I want to be great in my own way, in a simple way that makes me happy by doing my absolute best at what I love. I suppose when you stop to think about it, that’s all anyone ever really wants. To be honest, I don’t really know what this definition of “great” that I’m striving for entails, and because of that, I am afraid that I might never reach it. (Relatedly, for any Harry Potter fans out there, my greatest fear is much the same as Hermione’s – revealed to us in book 5, after her Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L exam – failure.)
When I find myself pondering my current employment situation (which, if you were wondering, is nonexistent), I get very discouraged and melancholy. It is so challenging to be positive when you want something so badly and have worked so hard for it and it passes you by. It usually takes a while – several One Direction songs, a Harry Potter movie, a phone call home, and a good night’s rest – before I am able to get over my self-pity party and to remember to count my blessings and get a move-on with my life. After a rough day, I always try to remember the great things I already have in my life – a wonderful family, a beautiful home with big open spaces and room to run, and the chance to satiate my hunger for a solid education.
Still, I sometimes get unwarranted and uncensored “advice” shoved down my throat about what I “should” be doing – such as majoring in something “useful” or indulging in the college life because it, of course, is the “real world.” While the concern behind such advice is truly appreciated, it would be quite a welcome and great change if somebody simply accepted me for who I am and my goals for what they are with respect. I am not out to be “great” in anyone else’s definition, just in my own.